Yo. My name is Mel. I'm an 18 year old girl that draws and raps sometimes. The rest of the time I 'm a huge buttface.
+++

The Buttface I'm in Love With
+++

she/her/hers!

I WISH I HAD ART FRIENDS. [This turned into a rant about Art Club]

EDIT: WOW THIS GOT REALLY LONG SORRY ABOUT THAT DUDES LET ME PUT THAT UNDER A CUT FOR YOU.

I mean like, I have friends, and I have friends who make art, but.

Okay. Let me explain this better.

The closest I have to an Art Friend of the type that I am looking for is Bethany. But I’ve known Bethany for years, so we’ve developed as artists together, and that’s how that connection was built.

Now, there’s this thing we have called the Hive Mind. We think the same. Like, no joke, I will say things in sync with her.

But that means that when one of us has a huge creative burst, the other is in a huge art rut and wow it happens like 98% of the time. It’s a really rare occurrence when both of us are motivated at once. AND IT KEEPS HAPPENING. WE DON’T KNOW HOW. IT JUST DOES.

You would think that MOST, the art club I help run would yield a bunch of art friends! BUT FOR SOME REASON IT DOESN’T? 

Like, most of the time, everyone’s too distracted to draw save a few people. The people who become regulars stay for the company, and not so much the art. (Save for a few people.) A lot of members just end up using the school computers instead of actually drawing. (I am still a little bitter about it. BUT THIS YEAR BETHANY AND I ARE GONNA TAKE OVER AND IT’LL BE COOLSVILLE) (BTW MOSTIES SUMMER MEETINGS ARE A GO AUGUST 2ND WOOOOO)

For the people that do draw/write/DO WORK TO GO IN OUR MAGAZINE… , I feel like a lot of members are treating it like a contest rather than an environment to learn and grow as an artist. I admit, I kinda got sucked into this mentality as well, but I’m trying to nurse myself out of it.

But I don’t think there was a meeting where I didn’t hear “Oh wow, I wish I could draw like that” or ” Augh I’m so jealous of your work!”

AND THEN THOSE SAME PEOPLE DON’T MAKE ART. IN ART CLUB.

AND I AM GUILTY OF THIS TOO AND IT BOTHERS ME SO MUCH.

IT’S FUCKING ART CLUB YOU GUYS MAKE SOME ART AND DON’T COMPARE YOURSELF LIKE THAT TO OTHERS THEY’VE JUST BEEN PRACTICING INSTEAD OF WATCHING YOUTUBE VIDS AAAAUUGHKLSDFKLJ;

IT JUST REALLY TICKS ME OFF SOMETIMES.

I’m really sick of people treating this club like just a reason to not go home at the end of the day. I know I’m treating it way to seriously, but…ugh.

I can’t really express it very well. (I am not that great at expressing things.)

IT’S LIKE MOST IS A REALLY HOT LADY, OKAY? AND SHE LOOKS LIKE THIS:

AND YOU REALLY THINK SHE’S SUPER HOT AND YOU REALLY CARE ABOUT HER BUT YOU NEVER REALLY TALK TO HER EVEN THOUGH SHE’S RIGHT THERE AND REALLY INTO YOU.

BUT YOU NEVER MAKE A MOVE.

BECAUSE YOU’RE THINKING THAT SOME OTHER DUDE WILL COME SWEEP HER AWAY AND WOO HER WAY BETTER THAN YOU EVER COULD SO YOU DON’T EVEN TRY.

SO EVENTUALLY SHE JUST KINDA GIVES UP ON YOU TOO UNTIL YOU MEET AGAIN AT A HIGH SCHOOL REUNION OR SOME SHIT AND YOU TRY IT OUT BUT BEING WITH HER IS A LOT HARDER THAN YOU THOUGHT SO YOU GIVE UP AGAIN AND IT’S REALLY SAD BECAUSE YOU WERE SO INTO EACH OTHER.

YEAH, ACTUALLY. THAT WAS A PRETTY GOOD ANALOGY.

I’m tired of my art being fawned over, and having people tell me ” omg Mel that is so fantastic”. While it’s very flattering, and I am genuinely touched whenever I get a compliment, I really wish I had people I share with and objectively talk shop with. Like “Oh I really like that bit of crosshatching you did there” or “I like your line quality, but your hand is a little shaky!”

But above all…

I WANT SOMEONE TO DRAW WITH, HOLY SHIT.

manatopia.org